Thursday, December 31, 2009

My Cathedral

Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception

1122 South Clinton Street
Fort Wayne, IN 46802-3130

Photo Credit: KFH (May 2008)

God and church have always been a factor in my family's life. My great-grandmother...Helena Starost Roy Kline...was a Catholic girl, through in through. She raised her three sons - Wayne (my grandfather), Walter Jr., and Kenneth as good Catholic boys. When Wayne and Walter Jr. grew up and married (Kenneth died as a boy), their children also continued the Catholic traditions.

The downtown churches - Cathedral, St. Mary's, and St. Patrick's were the three churches that generations of my family belonged to. I can find old newspaper clippings of marriages, funerals, first communions, baptisms, and school attendance.

Although much of my childhood revolved around St. Therese, most of my life's major events have taken place in Cathedral.

Photo: 1967 (from left) Wayne Roy, Kristina Frazier, Helena Starost Roy Kline, Patricia Frazier.

I was baptized there, I was married there, and my grandfather's funeral was held there. When I was a young adult, I sang in choir and attended mass there. I wasn't an every week person but I certainly considered myself a Catholic girl.

When I left Fort Wayne, all association with my Catholic church (in general) ceased. Part of that was my uncomfortableness with living in the Indianapolis area (it's still too big for me and doesn't have that small city/big town feeling that Fort Wayne always gave me). The other reason I didn't attend church was that I was pretty angry at God for taking away my grandfather. Even though I had expressed this opinion to Grandpa (while he was close to death even), he was very steadfast in his belief of God and was even perturbed at me for ever mentioning (me) "not believing in God anymore".

For 22 years, I have carried that pain with me - my grandfather's hastened and unfair death, my anger at God, and some of my grandfather's last words to me.

2009 has been a horrible year. You see I haven't posted much this year on my blog and I can tell you that much of that has to do with the heartbreak, heartache, and misfortune I have experienced this year.

Recently though, that anger that I've been holding on to for 22 years has dissipated. I can't tell you what happened exactly - it wasn't just one was a series of events and signs that made me realize that it was time to let go.

I still miss my grandfather but I know that I was one of the luckiest chicks on earth - to have had a man in my life who taught me so many life lessons and who loved me unconditionally...what more could anyone want? I no longer deny my belief in God and suddenly, I have a yearning to be close to my Cathedral again.

When I think about my Cathedral, I feel a sense of peace, a sense of awe, and I feel close to the things that have always been important to me (but you know, time/space sometimes makes you forget what those are). If I lived in Fort Wayne, I'd be right back there - singing in choir, attending mass (mostly) weekly but unfortunately, I don't live there anymore and now, I have to find somewhere else to continue the Catholic girl traditions.


Bob G. said...

Never hurts to look long as we still maintain an eye on the future...
Because we're ALL going to wind up spending a LOT of time it or not.

Good to see you posting again.

Best wishes for a very Happy New Year.

ida said...

i've had a interesting year (2009) too. in most aspects it would be considered a crappy year. but, i didnt take it like that. i looked at it as a door opening for me. a fresh start. yea, i shed a few tears. but, it wont do me any good wading in tears. its all good. i'm living on the sw side of indy now and loving it.

Carl H. said...

I also am glad to see you back. Life has a way of moving and pulling us in all sorts of directions. We might think we are in control, but God always has our back.
We also have had a very trying year. Other than good health the ONLY thing that has been positive in 2009, is our 2 new granddaughters.

Linda said...

I enjoy your blog, but I think your photo of the cathedral is actually St. Paul Lutheran, also in downtown. The cathedral is white stone, not red brick, and if you look at St. Paul's website, it looks a lot your your photo of the cathedral.

Happy New Year!

Kristina said...

Sorry everyone :) Stephen Parker had alerted me to this immediately but for some reason, I couldn't unattach the picture and add the right one. Took a ticket with Google and now, I *think* the right one is posted.

ida said...

right church or not its amazing....i love it.

Anonymous said...

Kristina, I was raised in The Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception Church. Baptized there & went to the grade school as well from like 1961 to 1969 then onto Central Catholic for my 1st. 2yrs. of High School then finished at Elmhurst class of 1973.
My daddy was somewhat of a Ft. Wayne celebrity as well, he was Dick Quigley a fairly well known Jazz Sax player. In fact he`s inducted in the Ft. Wayne`s jazz hall of fame there.
Thanks so much for your pages here life in the Fort I`m planning on coming by & checking it out a lot more later.
May God Bless you & hopefully you`re going to have a better year in 2010!!
Huggss Linda (Quigley) Thayer

Anonymous said...

If memory serves, the stone cladding was added later. Red brick is underneath.

Pete said...

Would like to contact you via Facebook or other ways, but it's kinda confusing. I'm a north side Lutheran born 1957-- long since blown the Fort-- but love your blog and other info, and would enjoy comparing notes and content. Please FB me at or Twitter at pete_dude (not to mention plain old email at ...thanks!